The Song About Alice

I enjoy imparting songs from decades past to my children, but today my children have stared at me as I have sung this song. Oh, yes, I will be the complete embarrassment of them when they are teens if I'm already getting the "She's crazy" looks from a four year old and a three year old. And would you believe me, after reading the lyrics that the melody and harmony are quite lovely?

This is the story of Alice
Told without any malice
Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

Her nose, it glows
It's red and it's graphic
It lights up in traffic
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

Her hair despair
You've heard of a crewcut
She's got nothing to cut
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing

Her tooth for sooth
Now what could be droller
A smile with one molar
But Alice is loved by Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Alice is very beautiful
Is beautiful, is beautiful, is beautiful
Except for one little thing
Trala trala trala trala trala trala

You've heard of the story Alice
Told without any malice
Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing

His skin, chagrin
It's veined and spotted and speckled and dotted
But Alice is fond of Algernon
And there's no wondering
For Algy is quite a handsome lad
A handsome lad, a handsome lad
Except for one little thing

His voice, rejoice
It's cackled and chronic and stereophonic
His beard, it's weird
It's terribly horrid and grows from his forehead

His eyes, surprise!

One final word about Alice
Told without any malice
Alice broke off with Algernon
And there's no wondering
Now Algy is just a memory
A memory, a memory, a memory
Except for one litle thing.
Tra la la la lal la la, tra la la la la la la
Tra la la, tra la la
Tra la la la la la (last line sung as a lullaby)