It's unfathomable that my first born will be four in a few days. There are so many phrases/words that have been used to describe fleeting time, but I sit here somewhat in awe of how quickly four years have vanished, never to be experienced again except via memory lane. All three of my children fill my heart and each one has her own special place, but there is something magically exquisite in Evelynn simply for being my first child. It's the memories of the "firsts." My first pregnancy, my first birthing experience, her first breath, the first time I saw my husband profoundly transformed into a father as he saw her for the first time, the first time I saw her, the first moment I realized something wasn't quite right with her little arm,the first trips to a physical therapist, the subsequent trips to Shriners in Philadelphia, the first months, the first smiles, the first noises,her first of many trips down South, her first steps, her first words... It was just the three of us: Keith, myself and Evelynn.
Evelynn was born on April 14, 2006. My pregnancy with her was a surprise. I certainly had no intention of completing my bachelors at six months pregnant! I can hardly even remember that last semester except that I was so glad to be done.I could barely fit in the desks I was so large. I knew she was a little girl long before the ultrasound that told me so. Naming her was a bit difficult. Keith and I have always only had boys' names in mind (go figure... maybe if we had a girl's name in mind we would have had a boy by now, but I wouldn't trade my girls). Evelynn was just something we came up with and added an extra 'n' on the end because my and my dad's middle name is Lynn. On the middle name, however, we started a tradition of using the middle name to honor the women in our families who were amazing, strong women. Evelynn's middle name is Carmine, after Keith's grandmother.This excellent woman passed away five weeks after Evelynn was born, and only a few hours after meeting her great-grandchild namesake. Evelynn Carmine means 'life song,' and I like to think it means that life and our stories continue for another generation.
So four years later, I reminisce about that first year with my Evelynn and it's bittersweet. They are years I can never return to; they are ultimately precious to me. There are things I would to like change about decisions I have made since her birth, but like anything else in life, parenting is a growing process. The Lord knew what he was doing when Evelynn was placed in my arms- she started a new phase of life for me and Keith, a growing period that moved us from being a couple to recognizing the blessing of being responsible for a third. I am so thankful that she is my firstborn (and thank you, Lord, for giving me Caelan second!), and I pray that she will continue to grow in grace and the wisdom that comes from earnestly seeking Christ, even though I might want time to stand still and to hold my little baby forever.
