Delicate Conversation

Paxton and I have been home for two days now and the girls are enthralled with this new little being. Over the course of this pregnancy I have successfully evaded most questions that my curious five year old has tossed my way. I learned early on to shy away from specifics or Evelynn would announce to anyone that "My Mom has a uterus... with a baby in it." More often than I realized, my answers became "Uhhh, because that's how God made us." Thankfully, this answer has been good enough. Thankfully, Paxton was a c-section... that does wonders for explanations. Sometimes Evelynn produces her own reasoning from things she has learned. The following conversation took place on Tuesday soon after we arrived home with Paxton. "Mom! I put Paxton's pacifier in his mouth and look!!! He doesn't have teeth! How is he supposed to crunch his food?" "He won't have teeth for a long time. They will grow in when he's a little older." "But how can he eat?" "He drinks milk." "Where does the milk come from?" "From me because I'm his Mama." (I should say at this point that McKenna was bottle fed, making this conversation non-existent two years ago.) Evelynn just looked at Paxton and I wasn't sure where this conversation would end. Then she said "Oh, like a platypus." "Uhhhh, how's that?" (Totally didn't see that one coming... nor how to respond.) "A mother platypus lays on her side and her babies line up beside her. They drink the milk from the mother by sucking and that's what Paxton does." "Oh."

Tis the Busy Season

To say I've been crazy busy would be an understatement at this point. Each day has become a 'to-do' list, with time simply disappearing before enough items have been checked off. I had somehow concluded that once my husband returned from deployment there would be this blissful, relaxing period, when I could do things like read or blog or whatever involved me sitting on the couch doing nothing. In my pregnancy cluttered mind, I neglected to realize his arrival was two weeks before the beginning of the holiday season. The down time I had envisioned became so crazy, that I begged for at least one day home... to do absolutely nothing. By the way, I'm still waiting for that to happen.

He returned and the list of undone household items were tackled and his days off are a blur. My sister arrived a week before Thanksgiving for a ten day stay... during those ten days we had a (long overdue) birthday bash for our Caelan's 4th birthday (which is actually in December which is why it's been difficult to give her the kind of party her sisters have received... and she was acutely aware of this), our usually scheduled busy-ness of dance (and now gymnastics), a doctor's appointment, lab work, grocery shopping, a ton of baking and cooking for the big day and the usual cleaning and laundry. At this point I should say that it's a good thing I'm so far along in my pregnancy that I can't see my feet because I'm pretty sure they would be screaming at me if I had made eye contact. Then Thanksgiving and Black Friday (yes, I'm crazy, but it was SO MUCH FUN). Then Friday and Saturday were the last two days with my sister, so we shopped some more and visited Valley Forge.

Last week, was the basic schedule, but add some more Christmas shopping (I'm almost done... woohoo!). The weekend brought another event hosted at our home... so more cleaning and cooking. Oh, yes, and somewhere in there we got our tree and decorated the house for Christmas. Sunday was the Christmas party for my husband's work and we galloped right into today with more laundry and an additional two hours of dance class. Caelan began dance today and Evelynn is in the Christmas program that will be on Saturday. Whew. On a good day (i.e. when I'm not pregnant) I live by my daily lists. I love making them and accomplishing them. These days, I forget my lists, leave things off or have so many jotted notes to myself it drives me crazy... and then there's the actual undertaking of the lists that do survive. Yeeeeaaaahhhh, that would be nice. On the bright side, it's almost Christmas and I'm staying home, snug, warm and untraveled, and I have a nice vision of doing nothing until February when this little boy joins the family. But then there's the undecorating of Christmas and getting ready for a newborn.........

She Might, She Might

Priorities

Song for a Fifth Child
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

Dog Vice

Our dog takes offense to the life he's been dealt every time his master leaves him for weeks/months on end with a house full of girls. His diva-like behavior (sorry to the master of the dog for that) is beyond ridiculous. For starters, he hates to walk out into the yard to do his business when the grass is wet or it's raining. I refuse to accompany him with an umbrella. Tough luck. He hasn't had anyone to take him on long walks or runs. He hates me. It rains. He hates me. He gets too much love from the kids. He hates me. He is six years old now, mid-life. There is no excuse for such childish behavior. His personal revenge has been to destroy things and once (and only once) used the bathroom in my bedroom. A distinct line has been drawn.

Chaucer is calculating, carefully planning his revenge. Most of his anger, although directed at me in the end because I have a mess to clean, is specifically in the destruction of items that are dear to the girls... and unfortunately for Caelan, the items almost always belong to her. He watches the girls, taking notice of their preferred toy of the day. He waits until the perfect moment to sneak it away from them and then mutilates it. His abuses are specific. If it is a stuffed animal, he chews the eyes out, pulling the stuffing out the eye sockets. Sometimes the eyes are enough for him and he chews out the nose, again pulling the stuffing from the gaping hole. If the toy is plastic, like a Papo animal or My Little Pony, he chews the feet off so they can't stand any more. If he's really put out, he will chew the face off, too. He is clever enough to never have actually been caught in the act of doing these deeds, but it is doubtless he is the culprit. The term 'hang-dog expression' never had a better physical description than when finding him afterward.

Yesterday, after countless toys and even a few sippy cups fell to his wrath, I was not the one to find a dearly departed My Little Pony. Caelan did. And it was hers. Hell hath no fury. The pony was on a rug, all four legs perfectly severed from the body, and its head ground in with its matted mane. I watched in fascination as Caelan gathered the pieces up and marched over to Chaucer, shoving the pieces in his face. She was thorough in her dressing down, her eyebrows lowered in anger and she used her lowest 'I mean business' tone of voice: "This is MY pony. You chewed up MY pony. HOW DARE YOU?? You are a BAD dog! STOP eating my toys!" She repeated a few of these lines to make sure the scolding sounded long enough and the dog turned an ran to his bed in the kitchen, where he did not come out for at least twenty minutes. I think he took it well. So far, he has not destroyed anything. My only regret is that I didn't get any of it on video.

Birthday Cake

    Yesterday was my birthday, and other than all the reminders from friends and family, it really didn't seem like a birthday... just another day like any other that I have when Keith is gone. I still don't think I've gotten over the trauma of Caelan's ER visit (see Pills and Gray Hair). It completely wiped me out. Plus three girls, an in utero boy, and an angry dog have all taken their toll on my well-being. Not complaining, but the highs have been high and the lows have reached an all-time low this week. Then my birthday came. Amidst all the wishes of a good day, I was having a hard time seeing past a few negative comments and letting actions of others define my happiness/mood for me... and Evelynn kept telling me that I could not have a birthday without cake.
    There was no way I was making a cake yesterday. I was not motivated to do anything. My kids didn't even sing 'Happy Birthday' to me. I was informed I didn't have a birthday cake. No birthday cake, no birthday. My Edible Arrangements from Keith and my friend Ashley were 'gifts' even though I tried to play them off as 'birthday cake'. Evelynn would not let it go. Yesterday finally ended, and today began on the same note as yesterday in all its negativity. Evelynn began the day, however, by saying in all the arm waving excitement that is Evelynn "Happy Birthday!" I said thanks, but that my birthday was yesterday. Her reply: But you didn't have birthday cake.
    This continued all day. 'Are you going to have a birthday cake today?' 'Can you make a birthday cake?' 'If you have a birthday cake, we can sing to you.' 'You have to have candles, too.' Ok, fine. We went to Giant. Evelynn informed me that because it was my birthday, I got to pick which cake I wanted, but since they were singing, they got to pick the icecream. The 'birthday party' began as soon as we got back to the house. Evelynn got the spoons and the knife while I found some plates. She reminded me once again that I needed candles. Thankfully, she didn't ask me how many I needed. Since the 'party' was in the backyard, there was no need to alert the fire department (they have been in our yard before searching for a fire someone reported because of smoke). Evelynn took a picture of me with my cake and they all sang 'Happy Birthday' to me. Birthday cake does make a birthday. The day ended with my girls (especially Evelynn) making my birthday one I won't forget... even if it was a self-induced day late.

Pills and Gray Hair

    On Wednesday, I picked up a little desk calendar from Barnes and Noble that gives a whole year (365 days) of German phrases and cultural items. After the events of last night, I couldn't sleep, so I cleaned my way past midnight into my birthday. In my overtired, somewhat cynical frame of mind, I picked up the calendar and flipped to the September 23rd day. It read "Lass dir keine grauen Haare wachsen." The literal translation being "Don't let your hair go gray." Huh. Interesting considering I had just completed my middle child's fifth visit to the ER (second this year, which I could not remember why we went the first time this year until a friend reminded me that I sliced the child's eyeball with my fingernail). Heavy sigh.
    At this point, as I have worked out the details of what happened in my mind, I should probably explain what exactly happened. It began while I was skyping with Keith. Caelan walked in, once again frantically pawing at her mouth saying "It tastes tewwible" and I'm sure it did. I asked her what she had in her mouth and she handed me a small travel tube for Advil. I wouldn't have been as frantic if it only had Advil in it, but I knew that it also contained two Imitrex pills that I take for migraines. I asked her how many she swallowed. She said two. I asked her what color they were. She said white. Advil isn't white. Imitrex is. As an adult, I can take two in a 24 hour period. I can take the first one and then wait two hours before taking the second. She took two at the same time. The child doesn't even weigh 30 lbs. My first concern was to get her taken care of and figure out the steps to disaster later. Not even a full week ago, I put Poison Control on speed dial. My irritation knew no bounds when I called them twice, was told by recording that it was in fact Poison Control and to press one for English. I did this twice. I pressed one. And the call was disconnected both times.
    I know from personal knowledge that the pill goes into effect between 15 and 20 minutes. I couldn't imagine how fast it would work on a three year old who took both pills. I called a friend and she arrived at my door as I was on the way out. The hospital is four blocks from my house. I'm not sure that's a good thing or bad, but at least it's there for Caelan. To look at her, she never appeared to be bothered by the medicine. As a matter of fact, I think some of her trauma room antics made the nurses nervous. One nurse put up the side rails so she wouldn't fall off the bed. Hahaha. They couldn't know that that was an added bit of fun for her to swing on. The nurses/doctor checked her heart and lungs frequently, but everything stayed normal. A few times she laid down on the bed and said her head hurt, that she was tired or that she felt sick, but then a few minutes after she said these things she would pop back up like nothing was wrong. It's the moment as the parent when you want to hug the child for being well and shake the child for taking the pills and worrying me sick.
    After an hour and a half, we were discharged, the nurses and doctors all expressing to me the importance of keeping medicine away from my children. I was still trying to figure out how she got the medicine in the first place. It was not my full container of the prescription and because I'm pregnant, I have not carried the medicine around with me in nearly six months. I probably haven't taken it in seven or eight months. When I'm not pregnant, I carry the small container of Advil in my purse with two Imitrex in it, but this container hasn't been in my purse for months. Interesting. So, after much thought and personal investigation, this is what I've come up with. I know for sure that she ingested one Imitrex and about 1/3 of another one because I found the chewed up pieces in Caelan's bedroom floor. It was recognizable and maintained enough shape that I know it was not Advil.
    Now, how did she get it? I found the closet door open in my bedroom and the purse I carried in the spring in the floor of my closet. It had been hanging up. I should not mention that it was hanging up high, because that's irrelevant to Caelan. I'm thinking she was after gum and found a container holding 'mints' or some other such tasty candy. I completely overlooked the pill bottle when I cleaned out the purse. It was in a small zip pocket in the side. What can I say? I haven't thought about it in months, and now I have a reasonable explanation. I supposed we'll see if there are any gray hairs... but that calendar is a 2012 calendar, so maybe it's advice for the coming year. Yeah, that sounds good.