The Tooth Fairy

    After weeks and weeks of loose teeth and anticipation, Evelynn finally lost one of her teeth. Every one of those days of waiting to lose that first tooth was exclaimed over. It began with "I have a loose tooth!" and then became "I have four loose teeth!!" She told everyone, literally; everyone at church, all her family members, the workers at Target and the grocery store, the people in New York City along the Thanksgiving Day Parade route, everyone at dance. No one was left out of her enthusiasm and if you know her, you are aware that she gets excited about anything and it knows no bounds.
    Every night she wiggled those teeth before falling asleep. My hand mirror disappeared from my bathroom and I found her late one night sitting up in bed, one hand holding the mirror in the dim lamp light and the other aggressively working away on her teeth. Daily, she approached me with "Can you see how loose they are now? Look at this one. It's really wiggly." After agreeing with her, she would declare "If my tooth falls out today, it will be the best day ever." I could not wait for that day. Her passion for her loose teeth was quickly not being returned. I asked her if I could just knock it out for her. She politely refused and said she would do it herself.
    It took another two weeks for her loosest tooth to fall out. And she never knew it. We were at the dance Christmas party and she ran up to eagerly tell me something. I noticed right away that her tooth was gone. "No, I didn't lose it," she said. Oh, but yes, it was gone. There was nothing there. "But where is it?" she asked, frantic. Weeks of obsessing over this first tooth and she never had the privilege of removing it herself. Maybe it fell out or maybe she swallowed it, we will never know. Her precious tooth was lost, and there was a new problem. How was the Tooth Fairy supposed to know she lost it? She had nothing to put under her pillow.
    She fretted over what to do until I suggested she write the Tooth Fairy a note explaining the situation. She had renewed fervor. Here is her letter to the Tooth Fairy. She had some spelling help, but her letter is priceless, including the picture she drew to further illustrate the missing tooth.

 

 

The Tooth Fairy visited her and left a note for Evelynn. In it, she said she had found a tooth and had been searching under pillows trying to find who lost it. And in case you're wondering, the Tooth Fairy left $1 coin, like the Sacajawea coin, but with George Washington on it. She gets excited about the First President, too.

Shutterfly Card 2012

All Things Wonderful Holiday Card

Click here to browse Shutterfly's holiday card collection.

View the entire collection of cards.

Living to 100

Evelynn is fascinated with the number 100; its importance is illustrated on her number chart. She believes it to be to the largest number ever (at least what her first grade mind can comprehend). She has made it her personal goal to live to 100 and knows that she only has 94 years to go. No sweat, she's got this. And a list of what she should do to make it that long:

1. Eat only enough. Not too much. Listen to your stomach.
2. Get plenty of sleep because the days don't go well when you don't get enough sleep at night.
3. Excercise by running in place as fast as you can and as long as you can. (She's working on building up her time.)
4. Don't get frustrated with school. You have to learn to grow up.
5. Color inside the lines when you are coloring.
6. Keep your room clean and make your bed.
7. Don't die.
8. Listen to your Mommy and Daddy.
9. Ask before doing things that could be dangerous.
10. Try not to be bad.
11. Learn about God.
12. Be happy about the things you don't like to do (like school).
13. Be kind.
14. No fighting, no fussing, no whining.
15. Don't listen to the Devil. He's bad.

She might be onto something. I told her she's off to a good start and just might make it to 100.

Scene Stealers

The Smithsonians were the undeniable favorites for our family when we were in Washington D.C. recently. We did two museums in one day (it turned out to be our longest day for the kids). Dinosaurs reigned supreme at our first stop at the Museum of Natural History so by the time we got to the Museum of American History, excitement had waned just a bit. All the museums do a fantastic job of being kid friendly. One of the features in the American History museum is the eras of our history are portrayed in lifelike scenes. A train on the tracks, a streetcar, a shop... and there are mannequins adding to the realness of these events. My girls, especially Evelynn and Caelan thought this was the best part. I managed to snap several photos of them joining the scenes.

The Treacherous Deed

Fall in Pennsylvania is magical. The trees, the golden light of the sun... and then the lovely autumnal confections of pumpkin, apples and spice. Pumpkins and apples grow here in abundance and there are plenty of festivals throughout September and October to usher in the season properly. It's an exceptionally difficult time for the waistline. Three years ago, Evelynn started dance. And three years ago, we began our weekly tradition of visiting the nearby Pennsylvania Bakery while the girls danced their jigs. That place is heavenly, their offerings lovingly made to enhance the season. I'm not one to always jump at whatever pastry beckons from those glass cases but it is very difficult to turn down a great coffee or tea, and I love their Pumpkin Chai Latte. It's a beautiful thing and only if it's made by Amber.

Yesterday was dance and so I found myself in the PA Bakery, but Amber was not the one to take my order. I usually walk in and Amber asks me if I'm up for my Pumpkin Chai Latte, and the answer is an immediate "Absolutely." I have three months to enjoy that before I have to wait another year, so it must not be refused. I have never seen the lady who took my order yesterday and another girl offered to make it for her. My heart sank and I held back the "No!!! I had what you call Pumpkin Chai Latte once last year and it was poison!" I scanned the PA Bakery employees and saw Amber in the back sweeping. I begged the woman in front of me to let Amber do it. I'm not sure if I offended the other woman but her concoction truly is disgusting. I don't know what Amber does to make the chai latte so heavenly, I don't even know what size I normally get. The woman taking my order must have thought I was insane. For at least two years I have asked Amber to make my Pumpkin Chai Latte and it just appears and it's perfect every time. I told my cousin about this on the phone and she says I'm spoiled. Maybe. But it's only for three months.

Loyalty has paid off. I have great conversations with Amber. After making my latte, she told me that it was heavenly with a pumpkin cream cheese cannoli and made up a small box with one for me. She said I had to try it with the latte because it would be perfect. As I turned to leave she also said she put in a small square of the pumpkin cheese cake to try with my latte as well. Amber truly is the best. It was amazing. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I decided to wait until I was back at the studio waiting for Evelynn to try drink my latte and the goodies she added. When I got there I noticed some kids coming out and wondered if she were done earlier than expected (which never happens) but I decided to check any way. I left Caelan, McKenna and Paxton in the car watching Return of the King. I was gone maybe 30 seconds. I walked back to my car and saw Caelan through the window DRINKING MY PUMPKIN CHAI LATTE IN THE BACK SEAT. Ohhhhhhh, noooooooo.... I ran around the car and tried opening the door. SHE LOCKED ME OUT OF THE CAR. I ran back around to my side and thank goodness I knew the code for my pad. I got the doors unlocked and ran back around the car to her side. The "No" I uttered was long and inhuman. I found myself pulling a Galadriel and in a firm shriek saying "TREACHEROUS IS THIS DEED." Caelan said "What? I was thirsty." I pointed out the water bottle sitting next to her and she said "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that." Yeah. I might have an issue. Or two. I will not share my Pumpkin Chai Latte with my children. EVER.

loose teeth, new teeth, ladybugs & mooning

It's been a long time since I had one of 'those' days, and yes, today is totally deserving of a Pandemonium post. My day started out quite smooth, too easy. "If it's too good to be true, it probably is." And it was.

Evelynn has been looking forward to school starting for us for several days. I've had everything strewn out along one half of the dining room table, planning as much as I could so that whatever happens in the coming months, her school year doesn't fall behind. She has been eyeing her new books and had to be convinced that we were not starting school on Saturday, Sunday or Labor Day Monday. Holiday weekend past and she was ready to go this morning, really wanting to skip breakfast. Her siblings, however, thought she was crazy. We had a great first day, basically reviewing some things. If you have ever been verbally ambushed by Evelynn, then you know that she is quite the talker. Now picture that in a schooling situation. Here are some blurbs from today:

"I'm so excited to start school today, I just love it. I've been wanting to for a days. I just love my new books. That is such a cute reindeer on the front of that book." That's a giraffe. "Oh, well that giraffe is so cute. I just love it. What is this book?" Math.

"Mom, you know that I get frustrated when I'm learning. It's very frustrating. I can't help it. I will try not get frustrated, but it will happen. I don't like being frustrated."

In the middle of math: "Remember when I ate that apple yesterday?"
Me: "Please let's finish the math problem."
Evelynn: "But my tooth hurts. It hurts because I bit into that apple and bit the nut (seed, she always calls it a nut) and my tooth still hurts."
Me: "Which one?"
Evelynn: "This one in the front." I check and it's a loose tooth. I explained why and she was so excited her body started shaking-- face, legs, arms, hands-- I thought she might hyperventilate. The exclamations of joy, and "I'm so excited! My friends have lost teeth already, but I've been waiting and waiting. I can't wait to tell everybody. My tooth is loose! Hey, Caelan and McKenna! It's loose! My tooth will fall out and I'll put my tooth under my pillow and then the toothfairy comes and leaves me money or a present. I think I just want a present." --- I want to know who told her she was getting a present. Whatever happened to the traditional quarter??-- Okay, back to school.

Reading comprehension is going to be so much fun this year-- yeah, not really. Evelynn has a tendency to seriously zone out. I read a short story and she knew she was to answer my questions and tell me what she remembered. I got the blank stare. This story was only three short paragraphs. Evelynn: "I'm just so frustrated right now. I don't anything about this story. I'm so frustrated I can't think." Her face scrunches up and she produces two full sized tears that fall down her face and onto the table. I've seen this too many times to really care. I tell her to stop and breathe. "I know that's the only way I can get over frustrated. Can you tell me a cheerful story?" Me: "I just did. How about you tell me about it." Evelynn: Well, I'm  frustrated, but I'm breathing now, so it was about a tiger and a spider?" Oh, yes... the drama is past. "That part when the spider rode on the tiger's back, that was cheerful. I'm not frustrated anymore." I promise you, I will ban the word "frustrated" before the end of the week. I now know what Mr. Bennett meant when he said "You mistake me, my dear. I have the utmost respect for your nerves. They've been my constant companion these twenty years."

While she is over the moon about her loose tooth, Paxton has at least two teeth coming in right now and he's exceedingly vocal on this. Several naps today. And each time, I turned my attention to him, my two middle children were in mischievous cahoots. They 'tried' to make oatmeal. I found them with three bowls, three packets of oatmeal (two spilling onto the counter and floor) and one in the microwave with water and a spoon. Thank goodness they didn't turn on the microwave with that spoon in there. Cleaned up that mess, sent them packing to their rooms to clean up their messes up there. Paxton chimes in again, and they decided they want PB&J sandwiches, stat. The process was underway by the time I got to them. Ate lunch, and oh, yes, it was naptime. For all children. Fighting breaks out between Caelan and McKenna (hazard of sharing a room at naptime), Evelynn comes down stairs "Oh, Mom, I just woke up from a great nap" and fake yawns. After five minutes? I think not. McKenna fell asleep on the couch. I got school cleaned up, the kitchen tidied, the floors swept and rugs vacuumed. Evelynn and Caelan still weren't sleeping so I let quietly play in Evelynn's room. Paxton was already awake and yelling loudly. He wanted me to sit in his room. Not to hold him or feed him, he just didn't want to be in there alone. I sat in the rocking chair, enjoying the nonsense of Angry Birds and Evelynn and Caelan came in to talk. They tussled over who got to sit in the window, so I sent them out telling them they were going to pull the curtains down. Two minutes later, Evelynn told me Caelan was swinging on the curtains in her room. Yep, curtain down (only a tension rod curtain) and she was back in bed. Evelynn came back into Paxton's room, tried to sit in the window (because she forgot that I said not to) and that curtain came down. Fine, everyone just stay in their beds, in their rooms and it should all be okay. I picked up some toys in Caelan and McKenna's room and see that someone has colored on the wall. The exact same strip of wall that I just painted three weeks ago because they had drawn on it. They both denied it. I confiscated their crayons. And stickers. I just peeled Tron stickers off a door a few days ago. Don't they know this house is on the market?

Everyone was up from naps and mother-imposed time in bed by mid afternoon. Only McKenna scored a real nap. The rest of the afternoon was a blur of playtime and watching the rain come down outside. McKenna came to me at one point and asked me where her panties were. I asked her if she had an accident. She said "No, I didn't. A ladybug did." Well, that was innovative. Kudos for coming up with something different than "She did it." Caelan had shut all the bathroom doors and McKenna couldn't get any of them open. Sigh.

Right before dinner, I had the girls take their laundry upstairs to put away and to clean up their rooms in time to eat. Waffles were on the menu. I made them as fast as they could eat them up. Then I walked past the dining room door to see Caelan stand up in her chair, drop her pants and moon everyone at the table. That was it. I was ready for the day to be over. BEDTIME. No excuses. Crazy kids. They will one day tire of me asking "What were you thinking?" I really was on a roll when I took them upstairs for bed only to find Evelynn's room a disaster area, namely Caelan's clean laundry unfolded and thrown on Evelynn's bed and floor. They are too fast, really. Wish they could clean as fast as they make messes. Talked to Evelynn and Caelan once again about responsibilities and McKenna ended that conversation with a giggly and smug "I not in trouble right now." Well, prayers and then to bed. Good thing days like this are not habitual or daily. We're on the right track, at least, if it only happens once every few months. And it really seems like I'm leaving some things out... :)

Queen and Taylor Swift

Evelynn, Paxton and I went over to the Hershey Outlets this evening for a bit of shopping. Having two less children made it a much smoother trip than usual. I'm assuming this lack of chaos and noise prompted her to double her animated antics. I have a sit-and-stand stroller (obviously Paxton was sitting) but the standing part was vacant as this is normally reserved for McKenna. We were quietly shopping when Evelynn stood up on the standing platform, began stomping her feet and clapping, and then sang very loudly "WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!!!!" As this was not exactly something I had expected from her, I just stared at her. As she started a third round, I stopped her. By then several people were staring at us. I asked her to get down and then I asked her where on earth she had heard that song. "Daddy was singing it today". Oh. "And you have to sing it loud because it's an exciting song." Yeah, well, how about not in the middle of Carter's.

On the drive home, Evelynn asked me to turn on Taylor Swift and to put it on her favorite song, which is 'Mean'... and also sung loudly. No problem since we were in the car. After a while 'Speak Now' came on which I'm not a huge fan of... the music is pretty but I think it's a little ridiculous. Any way, Evelynn said "That's my new favorite Taylor Swift song." Great. "Mom, is Taylor Swift a fairy tale or is she real?" She's real. "Wow, like a human?" Yep, like a human. "Where does she live?" I don't know, maybe Nashville, Tennessee. "Why would she live there?" Because she is a country singer (under my breath: sort of...) and that's where a lot of country stars live. "Have I been to Tennessee?" Yes, we drive through Nashville almost every time we go to Grandma and Grandpa's house. "Really?!? Next time we go see Grandma and Grandpa, we should stop and spend the night at Taylor Swift's house." Um, I don't see that happening. We don't know her. "Well, then we need to meet her." Why? "Because I want to tell her that I love her songs and that one (Speak Now) is beautiful. She sings so pretty." Sigh. It could be worse, I suppose. She could be wanting to visit Freddie Mercury.

The Wretched Post

It seems this post has been long in the making, somewhere buried in my mind anxiously wanting to be told no matter how many times I wanted to stuff it down out of the light. The last few weeks have seen very little activity on this blog of mine and frankly, I couldn't bring myself to recount the 'pandemonium' my life has recently become. And I'm not talking about having four kids and our travels. That would be so much more fun.

Keith and I have known for quite some time that a life-change was on our horizon. I knew deep down it was there and looked forward to it as a new adventure. Now that a change is upon us, I'm knee deep in tears and a sagging feeling somewhere in my chest that chokes up. I'm still looking forward to the changes about to take place, but I'm painfully aware of what we will be leaving.

I've spent the last four weeks getting our house ready to be put on the market. I've cleaned out, organized, boxed up and put things in storage for the day the 'For Sale' sign goes up. I've also cried my way through the baby clothes, blankets and toys, feeling like I've lived in Pennsylvania a lifetime and not just eight years. All my babies were born here, each one a life change that will forever be associated with Reading and Hershey, PA. Four children in six years (even I admit that's nuts and certainly a factor in any pandemonium we experience) and this house is all they have known.

My heart breaks more over the people that have touched our lives. It's been difficult coming to terms with the thought of leaving. We still don't have a set date of when that happens. Basically, we leave when the house sells. Many friends have asked when and we really don't have a timeline. Ultimately, we'd like to have sold this house before winter sets in. Winter and the heating costs for this old house are killer. So a move seems eminent. I hate that... not having a date to mentally prepare myself for a long distance move.

Caelan and McKenna aren't fully aware of what's going on around them, but Evelynn is. She's very excited for a move. She was concerned at first because she thought she couldn't take her bed or her dresser or the pictures on her wall. She's been assured that we are taking those things. She's very excited about the prospect of living closer to Grandma & Grandpa and Mema & Papa. The goal for us is to move to Arkansas. We have opportunities in other places currently, but we can't wait to be closer to family. For starters, we are considering Hot Springs or Little Rock.

We have always approached our life as limitless. There is really no where we haven't tried to go (we tried to go to Lithuania about six months ago if that gives you an idea).Because of this, we have been blessed with many unusual opportunities and have been blessed abundantly. Those blessings have always been found in the people we have gone to church with. I told Keith one day several weeks ago that I would love to put all my favorite people from the places we've lived, in one central location so that I could be happy all the time and not feel the pain of separation. He looked at me funny and said "That would be heaven." Oh, yeah... Now that Evelynn is realizing that this change is more than just a fun trip to Grandma & Grandpa's, she's not as excited. She told me tonight "I have to figure a way somehow to get all my friends to move with me to Arkansas." That would be heaven.

While news of our move has leaked out, I've had some people say that I'm handling it all well. No, I have not. I have had four weeks to cry it out, to feel ill over the prospect of leaving, to be excited about the future and its changes. So, to be fair, this post is to get you up to date so that you can somehow deal with the idea because I really can't hold it all together when I go to church and spend all my time 'breaking the news' to my dear friends. Most Sundays and Wednesdays I can't look around at my church family without tears welling up. I am looking forward to what is in store for us, but what I leave behind is so very dear to me and my family. We seek prayers for our future (I've already been told that some of you are praying we don't go anywhere and we return the love; however, that doesn't seem to be our course).

Lake Life

Over huge bowls of icecream covered in Hershey's syrup, the girls had the following conversation.


Evelynn: Mom, what are we doing tomorrow?
Me: Pretty much the same thing we did this afternoon- swim, relax...
McKenna: And eat.
Evelynn: So that's it? That's all we are doing?
Caelan (condescending tone): We are at Grandma and Grandpa's house. We are SUPPOSED to swim and relax and eat all day.
Evelynn: Oh, well I guess I can't wait!


It's the good life on the lake. All four of my kids are water babies this year. I've never had any of the girls love to swim at four months, but Paxton loves the water. It's so much fun. Tomorrow, I've been instructed to make icecream, so it will be an even better day.

Story Time

We've been on the road quite a bit in the last few weeks, giving the girls lots of time to watch movies and chat. The following conversation between Evelynn and Caelan is so funny, mainly because Evelynn has nightmares about volcanoes (she was fascinated with them to the point where we studied them too much and she knows of their destruction). Evelynn: Hey, Caelan, tell me a story.
Caelan: Ok, once upon a time there was a town that had houses and lots of people living there. There was also a volcano. One day it erupted and burned up the town.
Evelynn: No! Not that kind of story!
Caelan: Ok, once upon a time there was a girl that got taken by bad people. They took her to a volcano and threw her in and she burned up.
Evelynn: No, No, No!!! Tell a different story.
Caelan: Ok, do you want a story about horses?
Evelynn: Sure, I love horses.
Caelan: Once upon a time there were some horses and they got burned up by a volcano.

Guess the Baby

I've been meaning to do this for several weeks now, so here goes. Guess which baby and THEN tell me who Paxton favors.

This of course, is Paxton:

#1

#2



#3

And a bonus one. Which sister is this? The resemblence is amazing. :)



The Blog

So right before I had Paxton, my sweet husband had the foresight to move the computer to the third floor in our home. Of course, at nine months pregnant it was hard enough to get up one flight, much less two. Then after Paxton's birth, it took a terribly long time to recover and I wasn't even walking up the one flight of stairs. And here we are. Paxton is 3 and 1/2 months old and I'm finally able to 1) make it up the stairs and 2) have a few spare moments away from four children. That, in itself, is a miracle.

Hopefully, at this point, my blogging days have returned. I've used my Apple products so heavily in recent months, I feel like all thumbs on a full keyboard, but hey, that's what 'delete' is for. Anywho, on a three month recap,  we had Paxton on February 11th, he was 7 lb, 15 oz and I can't remember how long he was. Seriously, he was #4. It was bound to happen. That's what a scrapbook is for. Luckily, I had him on the 11th, like two of his sisters: December 11th (Caelan) and June 11th (McKenna). Evelynn is a weird 14th of April.

We had a whirlwind month of March because of the girls' dance schedule. I had naively skipped the Irish Dance regional competition in January in lieu of the "Show" on the 31st of March because of the extra dance classes. I thought the Show would require much less and I wouldn't be pregnant and so on. Yeaaaaahhhh, for over three weeks we went on dance hyperdrive. We usually have dance on Monday nights and that is it. Once March was underway, we danced our way through a parade (the second parade was rained out-- my prayer was answered), through three weeks of Monday night, Thursday night, Saturday morning, a Sunday rehearsal and a Friday dress rehearsal... and then the big show. Did I happen to mention that they were in gymnastics, too? And I still wasn't able to get up the stairs to blog.

Recovery from this pregnancy has been wretched. There will be NO MORE baby Brannons for us. Just to be clear. My sweet baby boy was born healthy and is a beautiful newborn. He is very sweet natured and excessively laid back. I think he decided that a few hours after he got home from the hospital on Valentine's Day. It was just better to remain silent than to have three older sisters jumping every time he made a sound. He even began to shudder when he saw McKenna coming to his 'rescue'. Can't say that I blame him. McKenna is a very 'hands-on' sister. He opens his mouth and she's right there to put in his "facifier" or his "lid". The only time the sisters leave him alone is when he spits up, better known in this house as "His face is leaking" or "He's spilling". Caelan has declared this to be extremely gross, to which I remind her that she was the spit up fountain and should remain silent on the subject.

April flew in and out with a blink. I'm not sure what all happened that month. Evelynn turned six (tears over my first born being so much older and I'm in complete denial). She's doing amazing things for a kindergardner. We are at the cusp of reading. It's coming together in her mind and it's exciting. Numbers come easy for her (scary because that's not my thing, but we'll deal and she will excel). It's a fun time and I'm looking forward to 1st grade. (Eek). The calendar was so full for April that I got dizzy checking of the 'to-do' list. I had a dear friend get married the first weekend in May, so most of April was doing fun stuff like a wedding shower, bachelorette dinner, dress fittings (not so fun, thank you, Paxton), making her flowers and decorating the reception hall and church. Whew. Craziness. Oh, yes and a church retreat was thrown in there somewhere and a lovely time was had by all.

Now for May. Uh, deep breath. I had a beautiful Mother's Day. I had a card from Evelynn and she signed her name beautifully and all the letters in the right order and facing the proper directions. I had a super sweet cuddle time with McKenna, she stroked my face and said "You precious girl". I had a card from Keith and the girls (he forgot to write Paxton's name on it, which I find quite funny) but I got sweet time in with my little guy. I got a card from Caelan and a shell casing was taped to the front of the card. I'm not sure what that means exactly or if she even knew what it was. I'm going with she didn't know and that she thought it was a shiny shade of brass that needed to be shared with my on my special day. We have had family from other parts of the country stop by for quick visits, which for us is always fun because it so rarey happens. All along the way, I've been spring cleaning and getting my house back together postpartum. I love seeing bags of stuff go out the door. It's so freeing.

My schedule became my own once again this evening after the final dance class of the year. I am free from gymnastics and dance until the end of August. Happy dances and some blogging have followed. In the immediate future, I have Memorial Day weekend plans, organizing a birthday party for my McKenna and then the annual trek south at the end of June. Lots to do and never EVER a dull moment any more. Which reminds me, so many people have asked "What's it like having four kids now?" Well, let's see. I have very little sleep, I don't sit down during daylight hours (except for school with Evelynn, but even that's busy work) and I do laundry on a daily basis now. All this and the boy is not even walking yet. So I smile and say "Not much has changed, ask me in six months when I have four mobile children."

The Importance of Personal Responsibility

I'm not sure if skepticism comes with age. Instead of saying that I'm older, I'd like to think I was born with a good dose of it. I'm increasingly skeptical in what I see taking place in my generation and younger. The idea that there are no black and white truths, that anything can be justified and made okay by societal standards or even "Christian" standards of "God wants me to be happy" or "If we just love everyone to death, then we're all okay". Frankly, I could care less. We don't live in unicorn-rainbow land where everything is happy and gushy and in a constant state of perfectness. I'll save those feelings for heaven, thank you. I refuse to be bowled over and forced to accept the growing gray areas. There is a right and a wrong, and there always has been.

For these reasons, of absolute right and wrong, my children will learn personal responsibility. Evelynn especially has been learning this lesson. I do not accept blame being placed on any one or anything. If she gets in a scuffle with her siblings, I don't care who started it. Ultimately, it's in how she deals with it. I don't care if Caelan did something to her, she is responsible for how she chooses to proceed. She knows that I will not accept "but she did..." or "but she said..." I am fair. Everyone involved has some explaining to do. Caelan for starting something and Evelynn for how she responds.

We are now to a point that Evelynn is beginning to see that there are consequences for making wrong decisions and there is praise for making wise decisions. After any incidents, whether handled correctly or not, she admits that she is responsible for what she does. We talk about the wrong way and the right way to handle situations. She's very intuitive. Sometimes the "I'm responsible for my actions" is said excitedly because she knows she did the right thing and sometimes it's said in a barely audible mumble that trails off.

I'm so put off by the gray areas. It's yes or no. It's "I'm responsible for yes or no." There are consequences for yes or no. She's learning this. Society is well past accepting excuses for poor behavior and equally poor decisions. I hope and pray that my children will learn personal responsibilty and know that there are absolutes in behavior.

Boots

Memories are sacredly linked to the most mundane and simplest aspects of life. A moment in time is captured by a look, a phrase, a word, an object. When I think of Grandad, I think of a pair of boots. Bud Honkomp always wore boots. He didn’t so much in the last few years and I never adjusted to seeing anything else on his feet than black, pointy-toed cowboy boots. In my memory, those boots weren’t always on his feet but beside his recliner, waiting for me. They smelled of leather and I would trace the stitching on the toe and up the sides with my fingers. Of course, these were his ‘good’ boots. There was no way I would have done that with his ‘work’ boots. They certainly did not smell like leather alone and the stitching was caked with dirt.

When I was young, I used those boots to be like Grandad. There was no way I’d ever be over six feet tall, but I could walk in his shoes for a while. I spent a good amount of time attempting mastery of those boots. That was not the easiest thing to do when the tops of the boots were higher than my knees. It was awkward pulling them on. The first boot was easy. The second boot was the trick. The walk was a shuffle and I know I spent more time on the floor trying to stand back up after falling. I distinctly remember the carpet, too, an orange/red shaggy-like floor covering.

However, the best way to use his boots was to sit on the top of his feet while he was wearing them. Step after step his long legs swung me along. His stride seemed so long. It wasn’t quite like flying, but I’m sure I got some breeze in my hair. Grandad never said too much about his boots, unless I got a little rough with the ‘good’ pair. Then one day, I got my own pair of pointy-toed, stitched cowboy boots. They weren’t black like Grandad’s, but that was fine. I was like Grandad.

Grandad’s boots are hard to fill. I’m sure you could go down and get a pair of boots at the store exactly like the ones he had, but they won’t be his. Only he could fill boots like he did. And I will always try to be like my Grandad.

January 19, 1926 to April 7, 2012, a long life and an even longer legacy.

The following is a link to his obituary

http://owensandbrumley.com/obituary.php?id=2334

Delicate Conversation

Paxton and I have been home for two days now and the girls are enthralled with this new little being. Over the course of this pregnancy I have successfully evaded most questions that my curious five year old has tossed my way. I learned early on to shy away from specifics or Evelynn would announce to anyone that "My Mom has a uterus... with a baby in it." More often than I realized, my answers became "Uhhh, because that's how God made us." Thankfully, this answer has been good enough. Thankfully, Paxton was a c-section... that does wonders for explanations. Sometimes Evelynn produces her own reasoning from things she has learned. The following conversation took place on Tuesday soon after we arrived home with Paxton. "Mom! I put Paxton's pacifier in his mouth and look!!! He doesn't have teeth! How is he supposed to crunch his food?" "He won't have teeth for a long time. They will grow in when he's a little older." "But how can he eat?" "He drinks milk." "Where does the milk come from?" "From me because I'm his Mama." (I should say at this point that McKenna was bottle fed, making this conversation non-existent two years ago.) Evelynn just looked at Paxton and I wasn't sure where this conversation would end. Then she said "Oh, like a platypus." "Uhhhh, how's that?" (Totally didn't see that one coming... nor how to respond.) "A mother platypus lays on her side and her babies line up beside her. They drink the milk from the mother by sucking and that's what Paxton does." "Oh."