The Value of Spontaneity

   There have been a few times over the last few years that I've been asked "How do you do it?" and I know the questions inevitably refer to living an unorthodox, spontaneous, abnormal and ever uncertain life. And every time, I never know quite what to say because the answer is neither short nor is it easily understood. A simple answer could be "Take whatever life throws at you" (and with kids that's, ahem, a loaded answer), or "One day/moment at a time," or "Roll with the punches," or "When life gives you lemons..." Another simple answer would be that I'm not easily stressed over what comes my way on a daily basis... and maybe that's a bad thing as I see my children fly through the air, ceilings dripping with water from the floor above, or children attempting to slide down the bannister, or the phone call saying "I'm leaving in three hours, can you pack me a bag and bring it to me?" or children using the couch like a landing strip after jumping off the arm. I don't know. I take things one thing at a time.
   Over the years, I have found that many people don't understand the "Brannon lifestyle." We certainly don't do things that most people would consider normal or sometimes consider feasible. We live life to the fullest and many times are led by the spontaneous. Some of these choices we make as a family have caused many to be concerned or to wonder just what we are thinking.Every spontaneous action we've taken has been an amazing experience, impacted our family for the better and been an all around blessing. One of the main reasons we live by spontaneity is that we are never quite sure what's in store for us. So another simple answer to life's craziness would be Keith. Ahhhh... the life of the military. While our family doesn't have to move every three years or so, his schedule is unpredictable, at best. There is no fixed time for him to be gone or for him to work a "normal" workweek. "Normal" is not nine to five and is not Monday through Friday.
   This lack of what most people consider "normal" has brought us many blessings (other than a paycheck, but that's a good reason, too). Some people through the years and different places have felt sorry for the state of my life. This, I think, is really because the life I lead is so far different from what the majority of society in general believe a home and family should be about. The military life does not always exude what people want to see in a home or family setting. My husband isn't always home and when he leaves, it's hardly ever something that was planned months or even days in advance. He's here when he's here and gone when he's gone. So we make the most of his time... and that requires spontaneity on my part. Sometimes it even requires me to go to where he is and on short notice. I can leave at just about the drop of a hat. That doesn't mean that once I return, my house will be clean or the laundry done, or that I won't be completely disorganized, dead tired and in need of a vacation. But we're together as a family, so it's worth it.
   The answer to "how" or "why" I do what I do goes back many years and has its beginnings in my hometown, Wichita Falls, Texas, also home to Sheppard Air Force Base. SAFB was my first inkling of what it meant to be a military family. I knew many families through church and homeschooling that were stationed there, some only for the three years or so. I was on base frequently thoughout the years and saw what the military life was and wasn't. Although my friends I visited on base would probably disagree, I always thought that military life had a magical, other-worldly quality. Base life was like a little city all to itself! There was the commissary, the BX, a bowling alley...they even had a pretty sweet swimming pool complete with twisting slides! How could life not be better? And you had to check in with the guard who would look up your name and wave you through (obviously pre 9/11)... it seemed so important, so cool.
   Later on, I discovered the families themselves were unique. The mothers/wives of these households, in my mind, were incredible... there didn't seem to be anything they couldn't do. They only lived in base housing for a few years, but when I walked into their homes, it was, well, home. The family relationships were the closest I had ever seen. Oh, sure, they had their problems like everyone else... and even problems that some people never experience. But there was an openness, a friendliness that encompassed everything and everyone the moment I walked in. These women were wives, mothers, hostesses... graceful, humble and thoroughly enjoying the lives they had, regardless of how frequently their lives changed. I still think of these women when I get overwhelmed... which I do. I have my moments of self-pity, thinking that it's not fair or not what I wanted or not what I wanted to do. But I've always known what this kind of life had to offer. I've always understood the negatives with the positives. It's not always easy, but it's worth it.
   The most important thing I learned from these women is that their family didn't have to be someone they were kin to by blood. Most all of them relied on their church family for friendship and support when times were tough. My own experience has been like that. I would never be able to do what I do if it weren't for the friends that have been brought into my life. Nearly every single one of these friends have come from our church family. No matter where we've been: Wichita Falls, TX, Reading, PA, San Antonio, TX, or Harrisburg and Lebanon, PA.  Everywhere we've been since we were married, we have made life-long friends at each stop. These families continue to bless our lives.
   Our life may be different, off the beaten path, but I knew, for the most part, what I was getting into. I certainly couldn't have told you I knew what it would be like to have three children and a husband who's gone frequently. That involves some stress and many sleepless nights that may or may not be brought on by stress. I never really thought that he would be deployed for 12 months out 27 months of pregnancy... which is probably a good thing. I never think about things like this. If I did, I would probably worry/stress a lot more.Whether it's good for me or not, I choose not to think of these things. They are unnecessary stressors that aren't beneficial to my family life. I choose to deal with things that are immediately taking place and not what could be taking place. Survival mode? Yes, sometimes. I take things as they come... and hope that I can be even a smidgen like the women I have known.
   When I got married, a sweet friend of mine gave me a poem that she had framed. She is the wife of an active duty member, and I have taken this poem with me wherever I've gone. I haven't had to experience some of the things mentioned, but it keeps fresh perspective on being thankful for the life I have and for choosing this life.

Sisterhood

I am a military wife. A member of that sisterhood of women who have the courage to watch their men march into battle and the strength to survive until their return.



Our sorority knows no rank for we earn our membership with a marriage license, traveling over miles or over nations to begin a new life with our military husbands.



Within days we turn a barren, echoing building into a home, and though our quarters are inevitably white-walled and unpapered, we decorate with treasures of our travels, for we shop the markets of the globe. Using hammer and nail, we tack our pictures to the wall and our roots to the floor as firmly as if we had lived there a lifetime. We hold a family by the boot straps and raise the best of military "brats," instilling in them the motto, "Home is togetherness," whether motel or TLQ, apartment or duplex.



As military wives, we soon realize that the only 'good' in 'good-bye' is the 'Hello again.' For as salesmen of freedom, our husbands are often on the road, leaving us behind for a week, a month, an assignment. During the separation we guard the home front, existing until homecoming.



Unlike our civilian counterparts we have babies all over the world and measure time in terms of places, like other women do in years. We plant trees and never see them grow tall, work on projects that are completed long after our departure, and enhance our community for the betterment of those who come after us. We leave a part of ourselves at every stop.



Through experience we have learned to pack a suitcase, a car or hold baggage, and live indefinitely from the contents within. And though our fingers are sore from the patches we've sewn and the silver we've shined, our hands are always ready to help those around us.



Women of peace, we pray for a world of harmony. For the flag that leads our men in battle, will also blanket them in death. Yet we are an optimistic group, thinking of the good and forgetting the bad. Cherishing yesterday while anticipating tomorrow.



Never rich by monetary standards, our hearts are overflowing with a wealth of experiences common only to those united by the special tradition of military life. We pass on this legacy to every military bride. Welcoming her with outstretched arms, with love and friendship, from one sister to another, sharing in the bounty of our experiences.



                                                                          ~ Author Unknown