Thursday, March 3, 2016

Parenting with a McKenna

    Parenting is a beast. Sometimes it seems to work, but most times you kind of skid through the moment and hope something sticks. It's a beautiful, treacherous business. It pushes you to the edge of insanity and then smiles at you, laughing at what you got yourself into. We got ourselves into four little beings for this parenting journey. The greatest struggles of my parenting life are convincing myself that it will all be okay in the long run and not flat out laughing at my children. It's incredibly difficult for me not to crack a smile and then laugh. It's why I have four children apparently.
    Today's parenting moment involved Caelan and McKenna, that lovely mix of daughters, close in age, closer in size, and sharing a bedroom. Their space in this new house has been taxed by their explosions of things and attitudes. It's a back and forth of insanity. It works and then it doesn't. Today was a doesn't work day. Sparing you the details out of respect for children who may one day read this, I will tell you it began as that parenting moment filled with calmness and wisdom. I was hitting the points home. The come to Jesus meeting was real. The tears were fat and many upon their cheeks. It felt amazing. Yes! The hearts were pricked, reason was established, and the importance of respect and responsibility was accepted with the promise of change. I may have inwardly praised myself at how well this one was going, because I have enough insecurities as a parent. But gloating is short-lived because I have a McKenna, that precious bundle of strange weirdness.
    The issue at hand was primarily the fault of Caelan, who received the brunt of the words directed at her heart over actions that were less than pleasing. I asked the questions that directed her to consider how her actions affected others and how she was ultimately responsible for her choices and who gets hurt or doesn't. Que McKenna getting caught up in the tears and the ridiculous amount of tears pouring out of her eye sockets, streaming down her nose, her cheeks, her neck, dripping onto her shirt and pants, and soaking her shirt sleeves as she rubbed her face with the back of her wrists. Mind you, this talk had very little to do with her. The conversation continued with Caelan. McKenna interrupted, sobbing, "Mom, I hated going to the hospital when I fell out of that tree last summer and had to get stitches in my chin." She steals fire, people. Uh, okay... and back to Caelan. 
    The talk continues. We are back on track. We've figured out where she went wrong and why it matters. A lull in the conversation and McKenna, eyes now bloodshot, said "I really miss Chaucer and our old house." Oh, sweetheart. Why? Why this now? "Because when I got in trouble at the old house, I had Chaucer to love me." I accepted that. She is six. She's a work in process. Back to Caelan, who was drying up and she had that determined look on her face when she's ready to do something. She apologized to McKenna for the wrong committed and cried a bit more. McKenna sobbed again, more tears because I swear she has a gallon of them stored up in her little body. She killed my vibe. "Mom, you know Caelan and Evelynn get me in trouble A LOT." Ah, yes, the someone is in trouble, let's add to the pot. I don't accept that. This was not a grand re-hash of any prior offenses. Caelan was ready to move on, and now that the spotlight was on McKenna, she was, too. A few more tears, some pats from Caelan and McKenna deflects this new direction in conversation with "You know, I really, really want a trampoline." And I can't handle it any more. I laugh and laugh. This kid. These kids. I hope it sticks. I pray it sticks.

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